


Blind Date for Two, Please

by MissPrickly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Interrupting Situations, Light Angst, Muggles, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Post-Hogwarts, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Way too much chaos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPrickly/pseuds/MissPrickly
Summary: Hermione, regardless of how well she writes about romance, she can't manage her own. Take a meddling couple and a surprising blind date to fix the solution.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 37
Kudos: 66





	1. This is My Blind Date?!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this madhouse from my brain! - Miss Prickly  
> Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter and I am too poor to try to gain some.
> 
> Edit A/N: So after posting it for the first time a few days ago, it seems like the whole text was packed together like a can of sardines. I am surprised you guys didn't exit right away. Thank you. After a ton of research, spacing, and stabbing the Enter key multiple times, I have finally cleaned it up. Hopefully, it doesn't look like the circus freak show I made it out to be. Enjoy!

‘I can’t do this.’

Hermione Granger slammed her laptop shut and roughly rubbed her hands against her face. This is the fourth night that she has tried to write something for her book, but nothing was coming up and her deadline for her first draft was just a few weeks away. Her editor was going to have another field day. She just had to write about romance, didn’t she? The one thing that was lacking in her life and she thought that she was an expert. Others thought that Hermione lived such a lavish love life. 

Ha! If only they knew. Hermione closed her eyes and she leaned back in her chair, her curly, long hair falling out of its bun in all directions. 

“Well, you decided this, didn’t you?” She chastised herself. “You could have easily stayed helping out the Ministry, but nope! You had to quit and become a writer, in the muggle world, no doubt! Write about things that you have no experience!” She threw her hands up in defeat.

Ever since she broke up with Ron seven years ago, Hermione has been developing a tendency to talk to herself. Not that they ended on bad terms, but since that failure of a relationship ended, let us just say she hasn’t had much success when it came to forming a successful one afterward. She needed to get out of the house more. Talk to real people. Her transition to her new career was easy enough, but as a writer, you tend to be in your thoughts a little bit too often. 

“And we all know what happens when you spend too much time in your head, Hermione,” she thought loudly as she got up from her chair and made her way to the kitchen to pour herself another cup of coffee. 

As she poured her fifth cup that night, her phone rang. Hermione walked over to her dining table and saw the picture of her best friend and editor, Emily McKelly, appear on her screen.

“She is either going to yell at me for my lack of progress or yell at me for standing up that guy she set me up with last week,” Hermione was too tired for this but she decided to entertain her friend. 

When she first started pursuing becoming a writer, Hermione had trouble networking with the right people, seeking any company to publish her book. She could have easily written books for the wizarding world, but something about taking on the challenging world of muggles spoke to her more. That is when she met Emily online on a writer forum and became friends with her instantly. Emily enjoyed the short fantasy stories Hermione wrote and one day messaged her about the possibility of writing a book. Three published books later, Emily had become an important asset in Hermione’s life, even though sometimes she wanted to wring her editor’s neck, but that was only when deadlines were due. 

Hermione picked up her phone and prepared herself to receive the usual tirade she got from Emily when the happy voice of her editor came on the other line. 

“Hermione! You would never guess what? I got you another date!” 

Hermione wanted to slam her head into the nearest wall but considering that there was none around her, she decided to pull her hair in frustration instead. If there was one thing that her friend was insistent on, was setting her up with anyone she thought would willingly sleep with anything with two legs. She knew that Emily meant well, especially since she just got into her own engagement and wanted to spread love to every person that was single in her life, but sometimes she drove Hermione up a wall.

“Listen, before you object, I just want you to hear me out,” Emily quickly said before Hermione could protest to whatever idiotic plan she conjured up.

“I know that you have been in a slump lately, and I believe that this would help you not only to write your book, but it would help give you a break. I don’t even expect you to call this guy after tonight if you don't want.”

“Then why are you even introducing me to this man? He could be a serial killer for all we know!” Hermione questioned her friend’s intelligence sometimes. 

“Don’t worry, I am going to be there and so will my fiance. The guy we are meeting is a well-known business associate of his and he vouches for him. If anything happens, Cody knows it will be his tail that will fry.” 

Hermione already pictured Emily twirling her finger around her hair, claiming victory over Hermione.

“Emily-”

“I won’t jump on your skin over this deadline coming up.”

Hermione paused, really considering the options. If she wasn’t pressured, maybe she can focus on her work for once. 

“Where are we going?”

Hermione heard Emily whoop through the other line. She _needs_ to get a new editor. 

“Dinner. Nowhere crazy, enough legroom for you not to be forced to be too close to him or need to have a conversation. It will be fun! You don’t even have to get all fancied up. We will be heading to the local pub that is near my house. I will even buy, all you have to do is show your gorgeous face.”

Hermione tapped her index finger against her chin as she walked around her flat, weighing out her options. On one hand, she could just tell Emily to piss off and continue to wrestle with herself and her never-ending battle with her book, or she can take a break and enjoy some company at the expense of her editor.

“Fine. I will agree to this forsaken plan of yours but you have to promise me that not only will you not pressure me for the deadline, but also no more surprise dates, especially with guys that come off as egotistical jerks.”

“I promise!” Hermione didn’t even need to see Emily in the face to know the woman was lying. “So go ahead and get ready, I will be over in thirty minutes to pick you up,” Emily cheerfully said. “See you soon, love!”

“Wait! It’s tonight?!” Hermione yelled over the phone, but her question was met with a long note of the dial tone. 

Hermione closed her eyes and started counting.

‘Maybe it’s not too late to go back to the ministry.’

\---------------

Draco Malfoy could not believe he got dragged to another company meeting. If he had to listen to another hair-brained muggle talk about how great his company was because his daddy kins started from nothing and how he inherited all of his dad’s money, he was going to jump out of a window. 

When he was forced to start making ends meet in the muggle world after the Ministry took everything in his family’s fortune to repair the damage that Voldemort did during his school years, he never suspected that he had a knack for muggle businesses. Using whatever little he had to his name, he invested in some small businesses around London. The owners trusted him considering that they knew nothing of his involvement in the Final Battle since they were muggles, they quickly welcomed him with open arms, charmed over his immaculate business proposals. 

Not to say that the wizards in his world were not moving on or forgiving, but not many wizarding businesses wanted to have any affiliation with the Malfoy name. Surprisingly though, he was able to do a small anonymous investment with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. It was Molly Weasley’s idea, thinking it would help mend the bad bridges between his family and their own. George was hesitant at first, but the small boost to his finances helped a ton, and now Draco enjoyed a dinner night or two from time to time at the Weasley’s. 

It was the sort of an odd change that Draco needed in his life after what had happened and how he decided to make amends, especially after his father’s passing. Being around an actual loving family did something to someone’s heart after being taught to hate for such a long time by his own blood.

Draco would spot Harry Potter and Ron Weasley from time to time around Diagon Alley, even catch a drink or two, but overall they barely saw each other considering that the two buffoons of the Golden Trio were out saving lives as Aurors. 

He has not seen the frizzy-haired brain of the three in five years. The last time he did, he practically ran into her while she cut through a corner in Diagon Alley, but her hands were loaded with transcripts that she barely acknowledged him before apologizing and making her way to whatever destination she was headed. 

The sun was already setting as he made his way out of the building, fully intent of heading home so he could pour himself a large glass or two of whiskey, sit down in his comfy armchair with his current obsession of reading material and call it a night. Draco was about to head over to a secret location near a dark alley to aparate when he felt his arm get tugged behind him. 

“Where are you going, partner?!”

Draco turned his head to acknowledge the man behind him who had become a thorn on his side since the day he met him. 

If anyone had told Draco that every American was like Cody Phillips, he would have let the United States be invaded by dark wizards the first moment he had the chance. To say that this man was annoying was an understatement. 

Oh, don’t get him wrong, Draco thought he was a very smart businessman with the credentials and reputation to back him up, but you would say it's because he has that personality of a hypertension rabbit that made him loved by everyone. Especially after the way he saved the whole street of farmer’s market that was in danger of going out of business when the big evil market store was built down the street. But for Draco, he would rather be dragged through a wooden floor with spines before interacting with Cody on a social level. Especially with that western accent of his, nothing but trouble came out of that man’s mouth. 

The last time Draco joined him in one of his “adventures,” he almost ended up being arrested for trespassing on an old woman’s property, even worse when he found out it was Cody’s future mother-in-law. Mrs. McKelly did not find it amusing that they were raiding her cabinets for wine and her daughter’s panties. 

Don’t even get him started with the dates he keeps trying to set him up with. Draco was truly losing hope in humanity considering how many women he has met who lack the brain cell capacity to hold a civil conversation, let alone an intellectual one. Where did Cody meet these women, in all honesty?

He has tried to avoid the western man as much as he could, but he is always caught by him. Draco sighed in exasperation when he acknowledged the man. Cody, dressed in a grey business suit and his hair slicked back, matched nothing on what was going on in that man’s mind. 

‘A circus monkey would have a field day in that brain of his.’ 

“Draco, partner. I have a proposition for you.”

Oh, how Draco _hated_ those words. They would either lead to a really good business idea or a really bad idea that might just finally kill him. Sometimes, he wishes it was the latter so he can be out of his misery with having to deal with this lunatic. 

“What is it, Cody? I am not in the mood,” Draco sighed. He just wanted to go home. 

“Listen, I know that I have not been the best wingman lately, especially with me getting hitched. But all this time we have known each other, I have not once really seen you happy. I just want you to be happy, my man,” Cody said as he clasped a gigantic hand over Draco’s shoulder. 

Draco had to admit that even though the oversized cowboy was loud and obnoxious, he did mean well. Hence why he continued this odd friendship with him.

“I am over the moon with my life, Cody. Although I do appreciate your sad attempts on interfering with my love life, all I wish is to go home and enjoy the rest of my evening.” 

“Draco, this isn’t some ploy to set you up, I swear. Just come and hang out with me and my future missus. Have a few drinks on us,” Cody coaxed as he slapped his hand over Draco’s shoulder once again, causing Draco to stumble slightly forward. 

‘He is not going to let this go, I know it. He would follow me home just to get his way,’ Draco sighed to himself in defeat. The cricket game was on tonight, maybe he could pre-game at the pub, and then go home and wallow in his sad, miserable life with three cups of whiskey.

‘It’s going to be a long night,’ Draco thought miserably as he was dragged by Cody by the arm. He feared that he would have his arm torn off before the end of the night.

\---------------

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into these things,” Hermione complained as she walked with Emily towards the pub from the parking lot. Emily looped her arm around Hermione’s waist, guiding her to the entrance, making sure she didn’t have the chance to escape.

“Because I love you and you couldn’t help but pass up the chance of not hearing my lovely, nagging voice for the next couple of weeks,” Emily snickered.

“I swear, if this guy ends up being a stalker, I am going to have both you and Cody’s hide.” 

The sun had set a while back, dragging the moon with it, creating a luminescent glow around them. The pub was located in a more remote part of London, and even though it seemed dingy on the outside, the inside always brought nostalgic feelings to Hermione, reminding her of simpler times of her childhood. 

These days, Hermione barely visited Diagon Alley, preferring the company of muggles. The wizarding world held too many memories, too many past experiences that sometimes were still too hurtful to face. She would see Harry and Ron from time to time, but after the initial breakup, they all seemed to be falling into their own lives nowadays. 

Harry and Ron were auror partners and were at times sent overseas to help out with cases with dark wizards. Ginny, of course, stayed home with the kids but she did not mind. After her nasty accident during a quidditch match, she came to realize that she didn’t want Harry to continue worrying about her. She would joke to Hermione that she doesn’t think that Harry would make it as a single parent in today’s world. 

Hermione silently laughed to herself at the memory as she entered the pub. She should visit her friends more often, she let herself get too caught up with her work. 

Once they entered, the women were greeted with cheers and yells, the smell of spilled beer wafting the air. 

‘Cricket night, of course,’ Hermione sighed. Did she give up her evening for _this_? Let’s just hope the guy Emily was introducing her to could at least hold up some type of conversation that didn’t involve how many lagers he could consume in five minutes. 

Emily chuckled at the idea of her writer’s torment. Oh, this is going to be a fun night!

\---------------

Draco set down his briefcase near the inside of the table as he sat down. Usually, he wouldn’t have entertained this type of atmosphere, especially with the rowdiness of the other patrons, but something about this pub always reminded him of home. Maybe it was the one guilty pleasure Draco allowed himself. He took off his jacket, laying it across the back of his seat. He started loosening his tie as he turned to Cody, who was already seated on the other side of the round high top table. 

“So, where is Emily?”

“Oh, she should be here soon. She just had to pick up someone along the way,” Cody smiled knowingly at him. 

“Who else is coming- _Wait_ , no! You promised this was not going to be another set up of yours!” Draco turned his head to search for the nearest exit. As he started to get up, he spotted Emily, walking through the front door, and someone else tagging along behind her. 

“Cody,” Draco said through gritted teeth, “For the last time, I do _not_ need you meddling in my love life. I have had more than one adventure with the basket cases you keep introducing me to. I don’t need another one.” 

Cody slapped his shoulder once more, laughing loudly, using his strength to force Draco to sit back down. 

“Come on, what would hurt in meeting one more? Besides,, who said anything about setting you up? Emily decided to bring a friend who just so happens to be single. No one said anything about you getting together. Now, if you guys hit it off, that is on y'all.” 

If only Draco could curse him with his wand at this moment, he would have. The sight of Cody vomiting out slugs would have been a nice view right now, but he did not favor a one-way ticket to Azkaban. So he chose to remain displeased quietly. 

Draco heard Emily approach them from behind, his back turned to them as he tried to contain his frustration. 

“My sweetie pie!” Emily greeted her fiance with eagerness, throwing her arms around his neck. Draco met Emily a few times, and even though she was just as meddling as her future husband, she was a lot more tolerable than him. With her fiery red hair and emerald green eyes, Draco would have mistaken her for a Weasley any day of the week. 

“Hello, darling! And who is this fine lady?” Cody gestured to the woman standing nervously behind Emily. Draco was still staring hard at the surface of the table when he heard the name that caused his head to whip sideways to disprove that what he heard was a mistake. 

But he had heard correctly. 

Standing there in all her glory, the intolerable, most frustrating woman he has ever met in his life. 

Miss Know-it-all herself. 

Hermione Granger. 

\---------------

When Hermione approached the table and saw the back of the man that was sitting across Cody, she instantly thought he had an immaculate taste. The black tailored suit jacket that hung off the back of the chair said a lot about the one who wore it, but something about his intense platinum blonde hair that reminded her of the insufferable git she had to grow up with at Hogwarts. Hermione scoffed at the idea of seeing Draco here.

‘He wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this, let alone anywhere where muggles were.’  
Until the very man that she was thinking about, appeared right in front of her, sitting at the very table that she was going to sit at. 

Two things ran through her head at that moment, one was more welcoming than the other.  
First, what in Merlin’s name was Draco doing here and this cannot be the date that Emily was trying to set her up with and second, how frustratingly good looking he seemed, sitting there with his sleeves rolled up, hair tousled, tie undone and sporting the deepest scowl she ever has seen him muster. 

Shit!

Emily pulled Hermione closer to her and introduced her to Draco.

“Draco, I would like you to meet my good friend and wonderful author associate, Hermione Granger.”

Hermione saw Draco turn his head towards her, his eyes widening in shock. She must have been sporting the same look. She could feel Draco’s eyes piercing straight through her, examining her if she was real or not.

Shit. Shit. _Shit!_ She had to get out of here.

\---------------

When Draco first glanced in Hermione’s direction, he could not believe whom he saw in front of him. Out of all the rundown pubs he could have run into her, it had to be this one. He could already hear her thought process.

_What the hell are you doing here and why aren’t you dead in a ditch somewhere in Diagon Alley?!_

He could practically hear Hermione yelling that towards him. But as he examined her closely, as much as he was shocked to see her, he couldn’t help but notice how good looking she has become. For a muggle-born witch that is. 

Draco quickly reprimanded himself for his insulting thoughts but something about seeing the curly-haired, honey-colored eyed witch brought out old habits from him that he thought he had buried long ago. He noticed how much she has changed over the years but he could tell that she still had that fiery spirit in her by the way she was looking at him. 

Oh, he could tell that she was _not_ happy about this. He might just have a little bit of fun with this.

Draco got up and extended a hand out to greet Hermione, throwing a dazzling, flirting smirk her way.

“Hello, my name is Draco Malfoy, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

\---------------

Hermione instantly flushed when she saw that alluring smile make its way through Draco’s face. Oh, so he wanted to play this game, did he? 

She reached out to grasp his hand, feeling the sheer warmth envelop her own, electric shocks running through her arm to her spine, but choosing to ignore it. Might as well have some fun while she is here.

“I’m sure,” she responded in a way that she knew would get on Draco’s nerves.

She was instantly awarded when she saw one of his eyebrows twitch up in annoyance.  
Hermione could easily play into his little game as well. 

This might be a fun night, after all.


	2. Could I Go Home Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her surprising encounter with none other then Draco Malfoy, can Hermione play it cool enough to survive the night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and subscribing! Remember, always take note of where all the emergency exits are if you ever end up on a blind date. You know, not to escape or anything, just to be safe. Just in case....
> 
> Disclaimer: Would I be here if I owned any rights to these? Maybe.... maybe.....
> 
> Edit A/N: Please refer to the author's notes in the first chapter regarding why I fixed the packed hot mess that was here before. Thank you again.

Quirking his eyebrow in annoyance at the sound of Hermione’s smug tone, Draco decided to offer her a confident smirk instead. So, she was going to participate in this little game, was she? The idea made his grin widen, making him feel like a cat playing with its meal before it went for the kill. 

He saw Hermione’s eyes widen as he turned her hand over so her slender fingers were facing him. Leaning down as he brought her hand to his lips, Draco placed a gentle kiss upon her fingers. As he raised his head, his eyes glanced to meet hers, throwing her one of his best smiles.

“Oh, definitely a pleasure,” Draco purred, throwing in a wink for added effect.  
He noticed Hermione’s cheeks turn a lovely shade of red and inwardly patted himself on the back. 

\---------------

Hermione felt the searing kiss on her fingers, making her flush all over. She tried to contain herself but it was too late, she saw the gleam in Draco’s eyes. Oh, this man was just as frustrating as he was back in the day. Hermione pulled her hand away a little bit more forceful than she intended, causing Draco to chuckle. She is going to make this prat regret for even considering coming here. 

Hermione quickly turned to Cody and gave him a well-received hug. She always enjoyed the couple’s company, as meddlesome as they were. 

“Cody, good to see you again!”

“All the same, darlin’. I'm just glad that Emily was finally able to talk you into coming out!”

Cody wrapped his big arms around Hermione’s waist, encasing the woman in a nice, bear hug. He released her and turned her to Draco.

“Cody, where have you been hiding this attractive woman at?” Draco asked as he pulled out a seat for Hermione after greeting Emily. 

Hermione felt one of her eyes twitch in agitation when she heard the condescending tone in Draco’s voice. 

“You know we can’t introduce you to all of the attractive ladies we know. We can’t have them all falling in love with you,” Cody let out a huge laugh as he guided Emily to sit on the other available seat next to him, leaving Hermione to take the seat Draco offered to her. 

‘Pffft, he wishes. The only thing that would fall in love with that narcissist is his reflection,’ Hermione thought as she offered an innocent smile to Draco. 

“Please, excuse me, I must go wash my hands,” Hermione said towards Emily, completely ignoring the seat. 

“Oh, I will come, too!” Emily exclaimed as she hopped out of her seat and grabbed Hermione’s hand. Feeling Draco’s eyes following her, she completely bypassed him as she let herself be guided to the loo. 

\---------------

Draco, leaving Hermione’s seat pulled out, sat back down on his own. 

“Well, it seems Hermione isn’t chokin’ on her words after seeing you, unlike the other ones,” Cody pointed out as he looked through the drink menu. 

“I get the feeling she isn’t really into me,” Draco mentioned as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“You got all that from just saying two sentences to her?” Cody chuckled as he handed the menu to Draco, but Draco declined it. He already knew what he was going to order. He was going to be needing something a lot stronger than just a simple cider to deal with this surprising turn of events.

“You would be surprised at what I can deduce from only a glance, especially from her type,” Draco inwardly sighed, losing the energy to play this little game before it could even get started. He should have just gone straight home. As the server approached their table to take their order, Draco got lost in his thoughts.

‘To believe she would be here, out of all places. Not only that, but this big buffoon is trying to set me up with her,’ Draco dragged a hand over his face as he acknowledged the server. 

“I would like a bottle of Guinness, please.”

‘Yeah, but she looked damn good, didn’t she?’ the annoying thought crossed his mind.

Shit.

“Make that a scotch whiskey. Double. Neat.” 

“Now that's what I am talkin’ about!” Cody hooted, “I will take one, too!”

\---------------

Hermione dabbed a wet towel across her face, trying to cool down the effect that Draco was having on her. She was chalking it up as frustration, definitely not how that smile of his made her toes curl. Emily came out of the stall, the sound of the toilet flushing behind her.

“So, what do you think of Draco?” Emily interrogated as she walked to stand by Hermione, opening up her purse to search for her lipstick. 

Hermione glanced at Emily through the mirror, seeing her friend suggestively wiggle her eyebrows. Hermione couldn’t say what she thought of the insufferable blonde man that has been a thorn on her side since they were kids. And she just didn’t have the energy to come up with a whole backstory of knowing him without breaking the sacred law that the pencil-pushing wizards created, so she decided to play naive. 

“He seems a little overbearing really, but I just met him so there isn’t much to say,” Hermione mentioned as she nonchalantly examined her reflection. Emily snorted at this. 

“Oh please, you were practically blushing when he kissed your hand, which I do say was pretty suave of him. He seems pretty interested in you as well. Usually, he is very dismissive of the dates that Cody introduces him to.”

This piqued Hermione’s interest. So, the so-called sexy bachelor of Slytherin was having trouble in the dating department too? This made her feel a lot better about her own nonexistent love life. Now she had something she would rub his face in. 

“I wonder why he has trouble holding on to a date… I bet it’s his condescending attitude,” Hermione mentioned the last part under her breath.

“Well, Cody isn’t usually the best at playing Cupid. Up until now, all he chose were these dimwit women that couldn’t tell the difference between a stool and a dog.” 

‘Probably wasn’t interested in them because he couldn’t brag about how great his father was or how much money he has,’ Hermione scoffed to herself.

Emily gathered her purse, did one final check on herself, and looped her arm around Hermione’s arm.

“I don’t know why I didn’t intervene sooner. I knew that you guys would be perfect for each other. Draco loves to read, is smart to boot, absolutely handsome, good money, witty beyond reason, might even give you a run for your money. All wrapped in a fine, tailored suit.” 

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, let’s get this over with.”

They made their way back to the table, just in time to place their order. Emily, already knowing what Hermione was going to get, ordered two hard ciders.

Hermione took the seat that was still pulled out, completely ignoring Draco. Feeling the heat rising around the bar thanks to the increasing number of occupants, Hermione took off her blue knitted sweater, thankful that she decided to wear a black cami underneath.

‘Well, what did you expect from a pub hosting a cricket watching party?’ Hermione berated herself. Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when Emily called out her name.

Hermione needed to stop talking to herself. 

“I’m sorry hun, I wasn’t paying attention. What did you say?” She could feel Draco’s patronizing gaze on her again. She bet he was just dying to say something sarcastic at this point. She could practically predict the sneer making its way to his lips. 

“I said, why don’t you tell Draco about the book you are currently writing. I mentioned to her that you love reading books,” Emily said as she turned to Draco.

Hermione wanted nothing more than to kick her best friend in the shin. Very few people in the wizarding world knew what she was doing, and she would have loved to keep it that way, but now it was out in the open, to Draco Malfoy no less. 

‘I bet Rita Skeeter would just love this tidbit of information about me. I could see the title slapped across The Daily Prophet: _Hermione Granger, Heroine of the Wizarding World, has no love life, so she writes erotic stories instead?_ ’ She couldn’t allow this to happen.

Reminder: Obliviate Malfoy’s memory later.

“Oh, I am sure he isn’t interested in anything I am writing,” Hermione casually said as she dismissed Draco with her hand. “No offense, but you don’t seem like the type of man that would find anything intriguing that doesn’t challenge... _your_ intellectual level.”

Draco heard the underhanded comment:

_You are unimaginative and lack the brain capacity to even remotely enjoy what I write._

So the prey still had some fight left, did they? This should be interesting.

“No offense taken. On the contrary, I am quite flattered that you deemed me intelligent without yet having an actual conversation with me, which would meet your intellectual level, maybe even exceed it,” Draco smiled at her as he placed his chin on top of his clasped hands. 

‘Flattered as those flattering shoulders of yours’ strayed another unwanted thought through Draco’s mind. Draco mentally kicked himself as he tore his gaze from Hermione’s soft shoulders to her eyes. He noticed her jaw clench, stopping herself from saying anything that would let him know that he got to her. 

Draco knew claiming to be more clever than Hermione was always a button pusher for her. And he wanted to press that button _hard_.  
‘I bet that is not the only thing you want to press hard on her.’ 

Draco swore he was going to go inside his mind and kill whoever is letting those thoughts run loose in his head. 

\---------------

The server approached the table before Hermione could retort, instead choosing to shoot Draco a look of disdain as she grabbed the bottle of cider that was offered to her and took a large swig from it. As she placed the bottle down on the table, she noticed Emily grinning from ear to ear as her eyes danced between them. Hermione wanted to take her bottle and shove it down Draco’s throat for even being here. She decided to take another swig instead. 

Draco grabbed the scotch glass and took a sip, peering his eyes over the rim so he could discreetly study Hermione. He wished that she would put back on her sweater. That exposed curve line of her neck meeting those cream-colored shoulders was extremely distracting, and he wanted to win this game of theirs. He tore his gaze away for what seemed the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. 

‘Need to find another distraction. Fast.’ Draco swirled the whiskey in the glass as he turned his attention towards Emily.

“What kind of books does she write? Science fiction? Mystery? Fantasy? About a little girl fighting an evil wizard and her two friends always getting in the way or almost killed by their idiocy?”

Hermione threw a glare at Draco, but he chose to ignore her.

“Draco, you have quite the imagination. Maybe you should try your hand at writing books. I wouldn’t mind reading that story,” Emily laughed. “It’s always good to empower young girls in stories. Especially if she is always saving her friends’ hide.” 

Hermione would have defended her friends if only what Draco and Emily were saying weren’t true. She took another swig of her cider to remain silent, feeling the fizz travel down her throat. She heard Cody curse next to her as he watched the game on the television.

Hermione, while trying her best to impersonate a Southern American accent, asked Cody, “So Cody, how about them cricket players?”

Cody sighed as he slapped the table with his free hand, “Mione, don't even get me started! This game is a joke!”

“What do you mean it’s a joke?!” Another voice came from the table next to them. Cody turned around with his glass in hand and started a heated debate on the politics of the game with the other patrons. If there was one thing that Cody couldn’t resist, was a good debate. This man could convince a bird it was a fish.

“Look what you did, Hermione. Now he is never going to stop!” Emily gestured towards her fiance. Then she turned her attention back on Draco, “Actually, Hermione writes romance and mystery novels. She is developing her fourth book as we speak.” 

Hermione could feel Draco’s eyes shift towards her, but she gave Emily her full undivided attention. She threw daggers from her eyes, trying to tell Emily to shut her trap but Emily ignored her. 

“Yeah, maybe you have heard of her work. She goes by the pen name Darlene Wise.” 

Hermione saw Draco’s eyes widened, making her wonder if maybe he has come across her work. His eyes then went back to normal.

“No, can’t say that I have. I might have to pick up one of her books one of these days,” Draco took a sip from his drink as his eyes went back to Hermione, causing a blush to cascade itself across her cheeks. Hermione looked away to avoid his gaze.

“Let me go see if I could locate our server to order another round,” Emily suddenly got up.  
Hermione saw Emily scurry away, looking like a greedy, old lady who just stole money from a poor, unsuspecting child. 

She took one more swig from her cider and tried to warily look over at Draco, only to find his eyes piercing her own. Hermione felt herself become heated again under his scrutiny. 

Reminder: Not only obliviate Malfoy’s memory but pluck out his eyes while I am at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos help me buy pants! Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Drinks and Questionable Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With both Hermione and Draco keeping up with the charades, who would be the first one to cave in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am glad to know that you are guys are enjoying it. I am having such a fun time writing Emily and Cody. I really do feel sorry for Draco and Hermione.
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoy!

Emily walked away from the table, adding a little dance to her step.  
‘If those two don’t hit it off, then I don’t know what will,’ she thought to herself as she looked for the server, completely oblivious to the chaotic storm that was about to form. 

\-------------

Catching Draco’s eyes on her, Hermione quickly glanced over at Cody to make sure he was distracted before she leaned close to Draco.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hermione hissed at him. 

Draco calmly took his drink and brought it to his lips, sipping it as he regarded the overbearing woman. 

“Hello to you too, Granger,” Draco said as he placed his glass down on the table. 

“Don’t get cute with me, Malfoy!” Hermione said through her teeth, “Now answer the question before I curse you till morning come.”

“Granger,” Draco dramatically placed his hand against his chest, “you already want to spend the night together? What would Potter and Weasley think?” 

Hermione wanted to punch that smile off Draco’s perfect, chiseled face. 

“You know that is not what I meant!” 

Hermione heard Cody say something behind her. She made sure he still wasn’t paying attention before turning back to Draco. 

“Granger, if you think I had any idea that you were going to be here, then you are sadly mistaken,” Draco whispered. “As a matter of fact, I was under the impression that this was not a setup.” Draco threw a glare at Cody’s back. 

“Well, you need to leave.”

Draco dismissed Hermione with a wave of his hand. 

“No, you leave. I am enjoying myself.” Draco grabbed his drink and downed it. He grimaced as he felt the burning sensation of the whiskey go down his throat. 

“What are you even doing here in the muggle world anyway? Shouldn’t you be meeting with goblins under a bridge, preying on poor, unsuspecting people, and swindling money from them?” Hermione sneered as she took another swig of her drink, finding it empty instead.  
‘I need another drink. I am not drunk enough for this,’ she thought to herself. 

“The only prey I am after is you, Granger. Let us see how long you can keep up this little charade of yours,” Draco chuckled, staring at her suggestively.

Hermione wanted to tear at her skin for flushing at that comment. She will not let Draco get the better of her. She glanced over at the bar as she saw Emily making her way back to the table. 

Leaning close to Draco once more, she whispered with indignation.  
“I am going to tell you this once. Don’t think I will put up with your antics, cause I will not entertain you. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t act like a complete git for once. Let us just get through this night and never speak about this again.” 

Draco barely made out the words that were coming out of Hermione’s mouth. He was too distracted by her pleasant fragrance, reminding him of vanilla coffee and old parchment. When she started to pull away, Draco caught himself reaching for her. He quickly withdrew his hand before Hermione could notice. 

“Well, hello you two lovebirds. You guys seem to be getting along quite nicely,” Emily suggested as she hopped back onto her stool. The server followed behind her with a fresh round of drinks. Hermione forced a smile. 

“Oh, we are just getting to know each other.” 

‘I would rather be hitting my head against this table but who is complaining? Especially since I can’t stop thinking about how wonderful Malfoy smelled,’ Hermione pinched her hand underneath the table to control her train of thought, ‘This is getting exhausting.’

“Draco, so tell me,” Emily handed him his whiskey, “How did a man like yourself save the orphanage building from being torn down by the evil corporate men of London?” 

Hermione tried to contain her surprise. Emily does know that this is Draco Malfoy that she was talking about, right? Arrogant, self-centered, pompous brat that felt the whole world revolved around him? He is probably blackmailing those poor orphans to work for him. 

Hermione imagined Draco in a purple suede suit, hair slicked back with gunky hair gel, and a cane with a diamond-studded skull handle; walking around his sweat factory while orphaned children shined his collection of leather loafers. She snorted at the thought as she tried to contain her laughter. Draco shot her a glare, but before he could comment, Cody decided to intervene.

“Oh, you should have seen this man! There we were, facing the big suits that wanted to buy the building. The owner was this old wrinkly fella that looked like a rabbit cornered by a pack of wolves. He almost signed the property over if it weren’t for Draco butting in,” Cody said eagerly, raising his glass towards Draco. 

“He had hired some lawyers, free of charge, of course, to back up the owner. They demanded to see the contract, to make sure they weren't swindling him. The buyers were telling the old man that they would preserve the building and build around the property, even throw in some money to fix up the place, and made it sound like they were heaven-sent. At first, the big wigs didn’t even want to show us the contract. When the lawyers threatened to sue, they finally let Draco review it. That is when he found out they were planning on tearing down the orphanage, forcing all those poor kids to find foster homes.”

Hermione looked at Draco with surprise, having a hard time believing what Cody was saying. Draco avoided her gaze, choosing to stare at nothing but his glass, trying to hide his embarrassment.

‘This couldn’t be the same Draco Malfoy!’ Hermione turned back to Cody, wondering if maybe Draco cast a charm on him to create this fabrication in his head. 

“You got that right, sister,” Cody responded as if he heard Hermione’s thoughts. “He not only threatened to sue them right there and then for fraudulent, but said that he would get Henry Weston, one of the big wigs at the London Chamber of Commerce, involved. It also helped that Draco and Henry have done business in the past. The old hog also has a soft spot for kids,” Cody laughed as he downed the rest of his whiskey. 

“If you don’t relax with those drinks, sweetie, you are going to end up sleeping in that barstool again,” Emily mentioned as she shook her head. Cody laughed, signaling for the server once more.

“Well, they better get their biggest guy in tonight to carry me out, cause I promised my partner here a good old time and I ain’t leavin’ until he does!”

The other patrons around them let out a cheer in agreement. Hermione heard someone in the background shout something about getting drunk because his wife left him.  
It seemed that Cody heard him too because he bought the poor man a drink when the server came. 

After ordering a new round for the table, Emily and Cody got lost in their conversation, choosing to give Draco and Hermione some privacy. Hermione was going to make sure Emily suffered for this later. Draco was still concentrating hard on staring anywhere but at Hermione. Probably he was expecting to be ridiculed by her. Hermione decided to use a different tactic. She leaned towards him, playing with the neck of the bottle between her fingers. 

“You sound like a modern-day hero, Draco. Do you also dress up in a costume at night and do vigilante work, protecting the streets from burglars and dark wizards?” 

Draco was going to make it his life mission to make Cody’s life miserable. He did not need Hermione knowing what he was doing here in London. Not to say that it was all over the muggle newspapers the following day, and Draco didn’t think about the fact that many other wizards and witches could have also read said newspapers, including Hermione, so she might have already known this little tidbit of his, but saying it in front of him, and to her out of all people, was downright embarrassing. Draco could just picture it now, Hermione sitting down with Harry and Ron in an old English style meeting room, drinking tea and laughing obnoxiously at his expense:

_“Ooohoohoohoo! Draco must think he is Saint Malfoy now!” She would say as she drinks her tea with her pinky out. Harry would laugh while holding his monocle against his eye.  
“Right so! To believe that he thinks that he could win your favor by doing a nice deed!” Ron would throw his head back while cackling, his red mustache twirling underneath his nose.  
“I bet the old cod thought you were actually interested in him!” Hermione let out a high pitch squeal, her tea splashing out of her cup as she waved her hands in excitement.  
“Right so! Jolly good show!”_

Draco knew he was being ridiculous. Harry, Ron, and he have had multiple outings together already. They even knew what transpired that day. But just the thought of Hermione knowing such things about him put him on edge for some reason. Draco stared into his glass, wishing for a stronger drink that might just knock him out for the rest of the night. As he saw Cody and Emily start talking amongst themselves, he heard Hermione ask him the hero question in a cloying sweet voice. 

‘Oh, so she is trying to be cute now,' Draco turned his attention towards her. 

“Would you like me to come over and make sure no dark wizards are hiding underneath your bed, Hermione?” he responded in a low suggestive tone. 

Hermione almost spat out her cider, choosing to hold it in and flash him a closed-lip smile to contain the contents in her mouth. She slowly swallowed, clearing her throat to regard him. It was a bit odd hearing Draco referring to her by her first name, yet she quite liked it, although she wouldn’t admit that out loud. 

“You just willingly invite yourself to anyone’s house to get into their bed, don’t you?” 

“Only if the other party seems willing," he answered as he leaned in a bit more closer.

‘You are not going to win this, Draco,’ Hermione glared at him, “Well, I am sure you shouldn’t find any trouble in finding a willing participant here.”

Draco knew she meant that as an insult but it was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up. He drew closer to her, close enough for her to hear him whisper. 

“Are you saying… _you’re_ willing, Ms. Norringhan?”

Hermione just stared at him with her mouth open, completely speechless. Draco wanted to reach over and place a finger underneath her chin to close her mouth, then run a finger across those luscious looking pink lips. Their eyes locked, falling into a silent staring contest. Draco noticed Hermione slowly leaning in, the noise of the bar becoming silent around him. All he could do was concentrate on Hermione and the way her hair was somehow starting to have an ethereal glow around it. He felt himself being drawn to her, felt her knees bump into his. 

Why did it feel so hot in here all of sudden? Why did she seem closer than she was a few minutes ago? Why does she have to smell so good? Why in the hell doesn’t she cover those sexy shoulders of hers? Draco could hear his inner thoughts riding a roller coaster ride of turmoil that never seemed to stop. Somewhere inside of himself was a voice yelling at him to pull away, to stop what he was doing, anything but lean anymore closer to her. But he couldn’t stop himself. 

Just when they were about a few inches apart, the loud noise of the patrons cheering over the game broke through whatever spell was cast on them. They both broke apart, instantly placing distance between themselves. Hermione quickly grabbed her bottle and chugged the rest of her cider. Then she slammed her empty bottle on the table, got up, and quickly made her way to the loo. 

Emily looked at her with confusion as Hermione walked away, excusing herself to follow her. Draco shook his head as he brought up his glass to his lips.

“What the hell was that?” Draco thought out loud, his mouth betraying him once more. Nothing seemed to be working his way tonight. Especially when there was a particular nosy cowboy that heard him. 

“That, my friend, was mutual attraction,” Cody toasted his drink towards Draco before he took a sip of it. “It seems like you two are really diggin’ each other.”

“Well, Cody it was nice but I think I am going to make my way home now,” Draco started to get up, but was quickly pushed down by Cody's massive hand on his shoulder. He needed to stop letting this big oaf manhandle him. Maybe he should go to the gym more, bulk up like him, then he would finally be able to fight him off. 

“You can’t make me stay, Cody. I don’t have the patience for this,” Draco tried to get up again, just to be pushed down again to his seat. 

“You are just afraid cause you found someone you are actually interested in,” Cody pushed Draco’s drink towards him. “Loosen up and have some fun! You never know! This one might be the one you finally put a ring on!”

Draco scoffed at the idea, ‘If only you knew how much that wasn't likely.’

“I am going to make you pay for this,” he muttered towards Cody.

“I already am. Now drink up!”

\---------------

Hermione wanted to put her head under a faucet. That bastard has read her work! And on top of that, he quoted the line the main love interest whispers to Scarlett Norringhan, the main protagonist of her third book. And he dared to rub it in her face?! 

Wait till she hexes him, then they will see who is rubbing whose face down in the dirt. Don’t even get her started with the fact that they were mere inches away from sucking each other’s faces. Did Malfoy almost _kiss_ her?!

Hermione wanted to scream in frustration from the idea. There is no way Malfoy wanted to kiss her. Maybe everything seemed like it was getting closer cause she had too many drinks. Maybe it was the sweet story of him actually caring for someone other than himself or the way he made her insides twist whenever he flashed that damn smile of his. Maybe she finally lost her mind. 

‘You only had two drinks, so it’s not that. You were definitely getting closer to him. Even more, you wanted to plant your lips to wipe that sexy smirk off his face. Maybe you are losing your mind,’ Hermione groaned as she squatted down and placed her head against the cool counter of the sink. She heard the door open but she was too frustrated to acknowledge who it was. 

“So, you want to tell me what happened out there?” If Hermione could just zap a hex to her friend to freeze her so she could get away without the possibility of getting arrested by Aurors, she would have. She decided to stay silent instead, peering up at Emily with a deep frown. Emily laughed.

“Hey, don’t get mad at me just because you seem to be really into Draco.”

“I am not into him. If anything, I find him insufferable,” Hermione said through her teeth. Emily leaned up against the wall, folding her arms across her chest.

“Don’t kid yourself, you know damn well if you guys weren't interrupted, you two would be snogging right now.” 

“Would it be a crime if I killed you now and made it look like an accident?” Hermione was willing to try it; she always wondered what the holding cells looked like in Azkaban.

“How about you save that energy for your books?” Emily chuckled, “Fix yourself up and let’s get back out there. You two seem to be hitting it off, despite trying to outwit each other, so you can’t let him know that he is getting to you.”  
Emily was right. Hermione had to win this battle between them and she will not let him get the best of her! She graduated top of her class, for crying out loud! She could deal with a snobby Slytherin!

‘A snobby Slytherin that you wouldn’t mind letting _Slytherin_ to bed with you…’ Hermione let out another growl of frustration. She slammed her palms against the counter and pulled herself up. She stared at her reflection with determination, even though she felt a slight sway to her balance. Feeling the small effects of the cider coursing through her system, it also gave her a little bit of liquid courage to face Draco. 

‘All right! First things first! Get these traitorous thoughts out of my head. Then beat Malfoy at his own game and send him home crying!’ Hermione felt renewed, ready to face the irritating man that was bent on ruining her night. 

Emily smiled to herself as she saw the inner battle cross Hermione’s facial expression. For someone that always seemed extremely intelligent and put together, you could read her like a book when she let her guard down.  
She pushed herself off the wall.

“You ready to try this one more time?” 

Hermione turned towards Emily with renewed vigor.

“Let’s do this!” 

Emily laughed as she opened the door. 

“Well, let’s go, my gorgeous lady!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos help me buy pants!


	4. Messiness and Sloshiness Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What kind of trouble can our heroes possibly get into next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I would like to apologize for the late update. I was going to create a sorry for an excuse reason, but my heart knows the truth. Writer's block. The evil nemesis of many innocent writers. After watching three days worth of romance anime and manga, I was finally able to conjure up something. 
> 
> I would like to also thank my BFF for hearing the craziness this story is becoming! 
> 
> Thank you for all those that waited patiently for this update, and do know I am inspired to work on Chapter 5 very soon.  
> Tomorrow...  
> Scout's honor...  
> I was never a scout...
> 
> (By the way, I do apologize in advance if I got anything wrong about cricket. My knowledge only goes as far as what I was able to Google last minute.)

'So, Granger is Darlene Wise... Who would have guessed? Now I couldn’t possibly finish those books knowing that Granger is capable of writing erotic scenes like that.’

Draco could picture Hermione sitting down on her couch, a wine glass in her hand as she wrote out the scene of Scarlett Noringhan and Edward taking off their clothes as they kissed in front of the fireplace. Slowly, the image started transforming to Hermione standing near the fire, unlacing her corset as she stood in front of Draco. He would bring up his hands to caress her sides as he pulled her towards him, feeling her soft breasts press against his naked torso.

Draco felt his face flush a deep red, gladly taking the new glass of whiskey the server handed to him and downed it one go. He started feeling the effects of consuming large amounts of alcohol in one hour.

Of course, the one author he recently became obsessed with was none other than Granger herself. Draco looked at Cody, catching the cowboy examining him. 

"What?" Draco growled at him, wanting to take out his frustration on anybody. 

"I'm just trying to wonder what hatched and crawled up your ass," Cody said as he placed his drink on the table. "You were just fine a minute ago. Let me guess, you just remembered that you had another date tonight. Well, forget it, buddy. You ain't going nowhere. I feel it in my gut that this woman is the right one for you," Cody slapped his stomach a few times as he chuckled.

"Well, you and your _gut_ can go and sod off…" Draco tossed him a glare, wishing he had the power to combust people with his eyes. 

"Listen, Draco," Cody became serious for a moment, all humor leaving his face. "You can sit here and be a sourpuss for the rest of the night, or you can finally give yourself a shot at happiness. You are a good man and I know I don't know much about your past, but everyone deserves happiness, especially you, bud."

Draco regarded him silently, getting lost in thought. No way in hell would he even consider Granger as a romantic interest.  
'Sure, keep lying to yourself,’ an inner voice said.  
'I _said_ there is no way in hell!' he inwardly yelled back.  
Draco wondered if there was some way to shut off his brain for the rest of the night. He ran through a series of spells that had no negative repercussions, but he couldn't come up with anything, except for drinking his woes away. 

‘That’s the plan. Need more whiskey!’ He decided that he needed a break, so he got up instead. 

“Where are you going?!” Cody got up, ready to grab Draco before he could escape. 

“I’m going to the loo if that is alright with you, _Father!_ ”

“You better be,” Cody pointed out, “or I will go wrangle you like a pig and sit your ass down in that barstool.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t run away. I don’t need to experience _that_ again,” Draco grimaced, remembering the time Cody manhandled him when he tried to escape a date through the washroom window. Quickly making his way across the bar, he came across Hermione and Emily.

“Hey, Draco! You aren’t escaping, are you?” Emily questioned him sweetly. 

“Of course not! I was just on my way to pamper myself for this lovely lady,” Draco regarded Hermione, receiving a scoff for an answer. Draco lowered his eyes towards her, feeling himself mellow out from the whiskey. 

“Emily, dear. Do you mind if I have a small private word with Hermione?” Draco saw Hermione’s eyes widen, slightly shaking her head towards Emily. 

“Well, of course! Now you two behave! I will go order us some snacks and another round. You were drinking whiskey, right Draco?” 

“That is correct,” Draco smiled charmingly. With Emily gone, he turned towards Hermione.

“Granger, would you like a drink at the bar?” 

\---------------

Emily sauntered up to Cody, finding him deeply concentrated on the game. 

“Hello, my big, hunky cowboy man!” Cody turned his attention towards his beautiful fiance and instantly recognized the mischief gleam in her eyes. 

“All right, what are you up to?” Emily laughed at how well Cody knew her. 

“Oh, nothing. Just a little plan I thought of that would help push our stubborn friends together.”

“Uh-oh! And what, may I ask, is that said plan and how could I join?” Emily giggled as she looped her arms around Cody’s tanned neck, loving the way his arms felt wrapped around her waist. 

“Did anyone ever tell you how perfect of a match we are?” She said as she lovingly gazed upon his eyes. Cody buried his face into her neck and nibbled her soft skin, feeling her melt in his arms.

“All the time, my precious darlin’.”

\---------------

Hermione looked at Draco suspiciously. What was he up to?

“I’m not up to anything. I just want a break from playing this pretend game you fabricated.” 

Hermione was startled when she heard Draco speak. She did not realize that she had said that out loud. 

“And the only way I can accomplish that is by making it seem that I wanted to talk with you. So might as well take me up on my offer.”

Draco didn’t wait for her to answer as he made his way towards the bar, leaving Hermione to contemplate her choices. Hermione stared at his retreating form, silently agreeing that she too needed a break from the exasperating couple, so she decided to follow him. She found him tucked in a corner, somewhat away from the other people that were crowding the television by the bar. He was already placing an order with the bartender, ordering a hard cider for her. 

“I want something stronger,” Hermione interrupted before the bartender could leave. Draco smirked. 

“Are you sure, Granger?” Draco cocked an eyebrow towards her, surprised by her audaciousness. 

“Yeah, I am not in the mood to soberly deal with my editor and her meddling boyfriend tonight… It’s bad enough that you are here, as well.” Hermione leaned forward against the bar. 

“Oh, the feeling is mutual, Granger,” Draco chuckled as he changed his order with the patient bartender. “Forget that last order. Give us two of Old Fashions.”

As they waited for their drinks, Draco turned towards Hermione, losing the will to fight with her. 

“So, an author, eh?” He said instead of trying to rile her up. Man, he was becoming soft. 

“Malfoy,” Hermione sighed, “don’t start.” Draco held up his hands defensively in front of him.

“I am genuinely curious how the _great and clever_ Hermione Granger ended up in the muggle world instead of going off and fighting evil wizards with the knock-off versions of Holmes and Watson.” 

“How do _you_ know what Harry and Ron are doing?” Hermione stared at him suspiciously. Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“I have my sources. Now answer my question, or I will leave you here alone to explain to the other members of our party of my hasty departure.” 

Hermione considered him for a moment, finally agreeing to cooperate. She sighed tiredly as she ran a hand through her long soft hair, not noticing how Draco’s gaze followed her hand. She might as well humor him; she didn’t see herself getting out of this anytime soon. 

“Long story short, I wanted to take a break from the wizarding world,” Hermione did not know why she was telling Draco all of this, but if she would have guessed, it was the cider starting to throw her inhibitions out the window. Draco silently watched her, deciding not to throw in any remarks for once. 

“After the war, I thought everything would just fall into place,” Draco nodded in agreement. Oh, he could relate to that. Hermione continued, “I thought I was going to get married to Ron; I was mistaken.” 

Draco remembered the small details Ron had mentioned to him before, how they just grew apart, and how he felt that he was holding Hermione back. That it was more of a mutual break up, but it seemed that Hermione still held some resentment the way she was talking about it. 

“After we broke up, I decided to come out here to London. It took me a while to get my foot in the door. I registered to a few online writing forums, then met Emily, who then became my editor, and next thing I know, I am working on my fourth book.”

Before Draco could comment, the bartender returned with their order, placing the drinks in front of them.

“Would you like to start up a tab, sir?” the bartender asked.

“No, you can place it under the tab with the name Phillip,” Draco answered the bartender. Hermione cocked her eyebrow as she took a sip of her drink. She grimaced from the taste, “That is going to put some hair on my chest.” Draco couldn’t help himself but laugh at her comment. Hermione flushed, chastising herself for verbally portraying her thoughts once more. 

Draco took a large swig from his drink, feeling the burning sensation travel down his throat, instantly feeling the effects of the strong liquor. Hermione’s eyes followed a drop of liquid that escaped from his mouth as it traveled down his pale throat.  
‘I bet it tastes delicious against his skin…’ She mentally kicked herself, thankful that at least she didn’t let _that_ slip out of her mouth.

“So, what about your _selve_?” Hermione asked to distract herself, feeling her tongue become languid from the alcohol. 

Draco laughed, loving to witness a tipsy Hermione slur her words. ‘Oh, if only the two Wonder Twins could see her now,’ He thought as he cleared his throat. 

“Well, you heard the hero-worship story. In your words, long story short, London had establishments that were willing to invest with me. Some of them needed more attention than others, but none of them were a big deal.”

Hermione swayed a little, her gaze lazily falling on Draco, “I don’t know, you seem to be _actually_ helping people out, especially those orphans.” Draco flushed at this remark, choosing to ignore that comment. 

“Why are you blushing all of sudden, Malfoy? Did I hit a nerve?” Hermione tauntingly poked at his arm, her smirk becoming wider, ‘Man, his biceps feel ripped!’ She thought as she poked his arm in multiple areas. 

Draco grabbed her hand, attempting to push it away. Meanwhile, the crowd beside them had grown in size. Everyone watching the game cheered suddenly as the team they were rooting for scored their final run, winning them the game. The people behind Hermione bumped into her, causing her to fall against Draco as he pulled her by the hand. Draco, caught by surprise by the sudden movement, placed his free hand on Hermione’s waist to steady her. Feeling solid muscle against herself, Hermione looked up to find Draco looking down at her. She felt her body instantly heat up, the pressure of his gaze searing at her very core. Draco could not take his eyes away from hers, feeling his face slowly leaning towards her as he held her. 

Their lips were a mere breath away from each other when suddenly, a guy next to Hermione threw his arm back with a beer glass in hand, spilling its contents all down her right side. Hermione gasped as she felt cold beer slide down her pants, slightly sobering her up. Draco quickly looked down to see the problem, then brought a heated gaze to the guy. 

“Watch it, you wanker!” Draco shouted as he grabbed some napkins from the bar to help Hermione dry her clothes. 

“Oi! I didn’t mean anythings by its. It was a bloody accident!” The guy drunkenly yelled back, swaying as he turned around towards them, spilling more of his beer in the process. Hermione jumped out of the way to avoid getting doused again. 

“I told you to watch it!” Draco snarled at the tall man. 

“You have a problem with me?!” The man stepped closer to the two, puffing out his chest. The people around them turned their attention to witness the heated discussion. 

“Damn well I do!” Draco stepped forward, pulling Hermione away from the middle so she would no longer be between the two men. Hermione stepped in between them again and placed two hands against Draco’s chest to push him back.

“Malfoy, it’s okay! I’m fine. Just let it go,” Hermione attempted to calm Draco down but he pushed against her, placing his hands on her soft shoulders to try to pull her out of harm’s way.

“Bloody hell I will, this git owes you an apology!” 

“I will apologi _zees_ to the lass, but you _needs_ to have yor’ teeth knocked in first!” the tall man slurred as he brought up his hand to grab Draco by the shirt, dragging him closer to himself. This caused Hermione to become squished between the two men, making her squeal out in shock. As the other man brought up his fist, a massive hand wrapped itself around his arm. The man turned around, ready to yell at whoever dared to interrupt him, but what he saw caused his eyes to widen in shock. 

Cody stood behind him, a mean glare placed on his face, all of his muscled glory pulsing with anger. 

“Is there a problem here, bud?” Cody’s voice vibrated deep as he tightened his grip around the other man’s forearm. The man gasped in pain, causing him to let go of Draco and reach to try to pry his arm off from Cody’s death grip. Before he could respond, the bartender slammed a bat against the wall, making everyone jump and turn their attention towards him.

“Let go of the man,” the bartender growled, his face red from rage. Cody released the other man and stepped to the side as the man stumbled backward, and one of his friends caught him before he could fall to the ground. 

“If you guys want to fight, you take that shit outside,” he yelled as he pointed with his bat towards the door. “If not, then shut the hell up!” 

“Sorry,” one of the guys next to the drunken man said as he turned to Draco’s group. “Please, don’t mind him, he is extremely drunk. We will take our leave.” 

“The hell, we will! I still want to drink!” yelled the tall man. 

Another man hoisted him around his waist, dragging him towards the door, “Let’s go, Sam, you are done.” 

The group left as one of them paid out their tab, dragging out their protesting friend out the door. 

The bartender turned towards Draco, squinting his eyes at him, “Am I going to expect anything else out of _you_ tonight or do you need to leave too?”

Draco’s eyes twitched in annoyance. He was about to sarcastically respond but then he felt Hermione’s hands against his arms, slightly squeezing them to try to calm him down. He looked down at her doe-like eyes, pleading for him to control his anger. He gently closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths in, concentrating on the warmth of her soft touch. He felt his anger drain out of him, exhaustion being the only feeling left. He opened his eyes and turned towards the bartender. 

“Yeah, I will behave,” Draco said in resignation. 

“Good,” the bartender placed his bat back underneath the bar. Then he turned to smile at Hermione, “I will go make you guys a new round, on the house for the trouble. You have a good man there, miss,” he laughed as he winked at her. Hermione blushed, instantly withdrawing her hands away from Draco and stepping back. Draco’s mind reeling at the thought of missing her touch against him, he cleared his throat instead, showing no facial expression at the constant war of thoughts going through his head.

“Are you okay, Granger?” He gruffly asked. Hermione dropped her gaze to the floor, feeling embarrassed by his attention on her.

“Yeah… I am fine,” She took one more step away from him, “I am going to go try to wash this out.” As she turned around, Emily appeared right beside her, throwing her arms around Hermione’s neck. 

“Hermione! Are you okay? Oh, man! I thought that guy was going punch you guys! The balls of him spilling beer on you! Come on, let’s go clean you up!” Not being able to throw in a single word in the middle of Emily’s rambling, Hermione was dragged to the loo for the umpteenth time that night. 

Hermione quickly glanced back at Draco as she was pulled by Emily, seeing his eyes follow their retreating form. 

As Draco watched them disappear into the washroom, he felt Cody throw an arm around his shoulder, jostling him side to side.

“Look at you, Mr. Big Balls! Defending your lady like a knight in shining armor,” Cody laughed. Draco rolled his eyes as he shrugged Cody’s arm off. 

“Please, you are the one that stopped that man,” Draco mumbled as he turned towards the bar to wait for his drinks. 

“Yeah, but I am sure you would have knocked him out before he had the chance to land one on ya. And you defended your lady’s honor!” Cody patted him in the back, causing Draco to fall against the bar from the sheer force. 

“Knock it off, you big oaf!” Draco shoved him away to put some space between them.

Cody chuckled as he turned, “I’m gonna go sit before someone steals our table.”

Draco dragged a tired hand over his hair, ‘If I keep pulling at my hair like this, I am going to go bald by the end of the night.’ He stared at the bar top as he thought about what transpired. 

‘I shouldn’t have brought her here at the bar… I wouldn’t have been able to move her out of the way in time…She could have been hit by that git…’ He chastised himself.

Then he remembered the way Hermione felt against him, full of warmth and softness, her intoxicating fragrance seeping into his mind, the feel of those _damn_ delectable looking shoulders of hers against his hands, and how close he was into kissing her right there and then. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the bartender bringing him the drinks, hearing him chuckling and shaking his head at the sight of Draco.

“What?” Draco said through clench teeth.

“Oh nothing, just love witnessing another poor sap falling head over heels for a woman,” the bartender said as he handed Draco his drinks. 

“Yeah, what would you know?” Draco snapped as he turned to walk back to the table. The bartender chuckled as he wiped the counter.

‘Oh, to be young again,’ the bartender smiled as he thought of his own special lady back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and Kudos!


	5. I Will Take Kinks, for $500

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They might as well have drinks in the washroom, considering how many times they have been in there. And what do you do when you find out about your own strange kinks? Just smile and go with it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, being sick with the flu bug produces fun times with typing while having a cough attack. But, I will prevail! This bug will not be the death of me! 
> 
> *shakes her first to the winds* 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading and to those that have left wonderful comments!  
> Those comments are the soup to during this ill filled time. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Hermione could smell the stench of beer permitting from her clothes, making her scrunch up her face in disgust as she felt Emily dab a wet towel against her shirt. She could easily go inside a stall and cast a drying spell on herself, but then how would she explain that to Emily? 

The effects of the last drink she had with Draco started swimming around in her brain, causing her to stagger a bit. She grabbed hold of the side of the sink as she tried to keep her head from spinning. 

‘It feels like a Basilisk is carving holes into my brain.’ 

“Emily, maybe I should just go home. This hasn’t been the best night so far and I smell like rat vomit,” Hermione pulled at her clothes, a frown marring her face. 

“Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry that happened to you. Here, you can have the tank top that I am wearing underneath,” Emily suggested as she dragged Hermione into one of the bigger stalls. After she closed the stall door, she shrugged off her black leather mini jacket. 

“I don’t know, Ems,” Hermione sighed as she leaned against one of the stall walls, “I’m just not feeling it anymore.” She felt her head sway to the side, feeling her body follow with it. Emily quickly came to her side to catch her, but Hermione righted herself before she could fall. 

“Maybe we can cool it on the drinks for a while. You need to get some food in your system,” Emily chuckled slightly as she removed her white _Red Hot Chili Peppers_ band shirt. She took off the green tank top that she wore underneath and handed it to Hermione. 

Hermione gazed at Emily’s blue lace bra, wondering if she would look good in blue lacey bras. ‘I wonder if Malfoy would like to see me in a blue lacey bra…’ she giggled at the thought. ‘No, his conceited self would want me to wear green. Green lacey bra. With green lacey underwear. And a Slytherin tie. I would _definitely_ wear a Slytherin tie, just to see his hot, sexy smug face in shock for once,’ Hermione laughed harder as her train of thought got lost in the universe of happy drunkenness. 

Emily glanced over at Hermione as she stood there, laughing at herself as she held the green shirt in one hand. 

“Hermoine? Are you okay?” 

“Peachy! Hey, do you think Malfoy would like me in green?” Hermione slightly shouted, her voice bouncing off the washroom’s tiled walls. 

“Well, you are going to wear green right now, so here is your chance to find out,” Emily said as she put back on her jacket.

Hermione glanced at the tank top in hand, just staring at it for a strong minute. Then she gasped in excitement. 

“What is it?” Emily asked, wondering if her friend was two sheets to the wind drunk by now. 

“Malfoy is going to give birth to a Mandrake when he sees me in this,” Hermione snickered, swaying where she stood. “Can you believe he almost got in a fight with that arse by the bar? All because he spilled beer on me. If I didn’t know him any better, I would say Malfoy actually cared for once.” 

Emily stared at her confusingly, wondering why Hermione kept calling Draco by his last name. How many drinks has she had? 

“I am not even going to ask what a Mandrake is. Here spray some of this perfume on your pants, it will help remove the stench,” Emily said as she handed Hermione a bottle of lavender-scented perfume. “I was told that it helps draw more guys to you. Maybe it could even work on Draco,” Emily wiggled her eyebrows. Hermione took off her shirt and placed it inside her bag. Putting on the tank top, she then grabbed the bottle and tried to spray some on her pants. 

“Please, nothing would work on him besides having a mirror strapped to your face so he could look at his reflection. He would never be into me… Is there something wrong with me, Ems?” Hermione asked as she kept spraying the bottle in multiple directions, missing her pants every time. Emily quickly reached over and grabbed the bottle, afraid that Hermione would spray the whole bathroom before she sprayed any on herself. 

“Except that maybe you don’t need any more drinks tonight, everything else about you is lovable, charming, and alluring,” Emily sprayed one spritz of the perfume on Hermione’s drying pants, then put it away before Hermione could do any more damage with it. 

“You are just saying that. I can’t even land a proper date, let alone even write a book,” Hermione pouted. 

‘Man, I want to take off these shoes,’ Hermione started sliding down the stall wall so she could sit on the floor to give her feet a break. Emily ran up to her and pulled her right back up.

“Nope! Nope! Nope! Get up! Here, let’s go back to the table. You can go share your woes with Draco and find out what he _really_ thinks about you.” Emily used whatever strength she could muster to hold Hermione up. “Are you able to walk properly?”  
Hermione nodded in response.

“I just need to splash some water on my face. These drinks have me feeling frazzled… Frazzle dazzled,” Hermione walked out of the stall and approached the sink so she could soak her face.

‘Did this woman seriously just say frazzle dazzled?’ Emily laughed; she has not seen Hermione this flustered in while. She smirked as she saw Hermione bring her face up from the sink, the water not helping to cool down her face. If anything, it made her look slightly erotic. ‘Oh, Draco is going to eat her up,’ Emily thought as she did a happy dance in her head. 

Hermione stood up, grabbing a piece of paper towel to dry her face. She glanced up to stare at her reflection and saw how flushed her face was, water droplets sliding down her skin to disappear in the crevice of her breasts. ‘I wonder if Draco would lick these off me… I need more to drink.’ 

Emily laughed, not about to comment that she heard Hermione say that last comment out loud. ‘I will let her keep her virtue intact for a while longer,’ she thought as she grabbed Hermione by the arm and led her out of the washroom. 

“Come on, princess. Let us hope we can stay out the loo for at least thirty minutes this time.”

Hermione slightly stumbled next to her, groaning in frustration. 

\------------------

Draco’s head was starting to swim as he took another swig from his drink. The rest of the room was starting to sway around him. He shook his head to clear it away. He should go home before he truly made a fool of himself.

‘What if Granger wants me to take her home?’ Draco groaned as he thought of a million things that could happen if that came to pass. Then he scoffed, ‘Fat chance that would happen. She would more than likely Obliviate me before inviting me into her home.’

Cody was having the time of his life. The ever-elusive and stoic Draco Malfoy was displaying conflicting emotions all over his face. It reminded him of the soap opera shows his mom used to watch. This was just too good! Emily should have brought Hermione in their outings ages ago! 

Cody cleared his throat to get Draco’s attention. 

“What? Are you going to tell me to _lighten up_?” Draco sighed, “Listen, let us just get through this evening and never do this again. _Ever!_ ” 

“How about we get some food instead?” Cody suggested as he signaled for the server. Draco threw him a glare but felt his stomach protest with hunger at the mention of food. 

"Fine. But I am _not_ happy," Draco grumbled as he stared at the tabletop. 

"You’re never happy," Cody laughed as he slapped the table, "Well, what do you- Oh, hello ladies!" 

"Hi!" Emily greeted sweetly as she walked up to Cody to wrap her arms around his neck. 

Draco looked up to acknowledge them but then he felt his breath hitch in his throat when he saw Hermione. 

If there was a name for a kink of seeing the woman you were fantasizing about in the last hour, not only wearing a _bloody tight GREEN_ tank top that hugged every curve of her torso but also sporting the most alluring facial expression he has ever seen on her, whatever that kink was, he had it… _bad_.

Seeing her face flushed and relaxed, sent a series of images across his mind on how she might look like after a night of a hot, passionate rendezvous session, tangled in his green satin bedsheets and her wild, curly hair fanned across the mattress. Draco felt a rush of arousal course through his body, making him shudder as he inwardly groaned. 

'How conceited do you have to be turned on by your House colors?' Draco mocked at himself as he continued to stare at her with a wide, open expression. 'Enough to want to see her naked body wrapped in it, waiting for you to do wicked things to her,' another inner voice softly growled in excitement. 

His throat became dry and he felt his pulse rapidly beating against his skin.

Draco heard Cody clear his throat loudly, interrupting his fantasy of nibbling on Hermione's soft, bare shoulders. _Those blasted shoulders!_ He shook his head and cleared his throat. 

"You need some water there, bud?" Cody joked. Draco shot him a glare, wanting to throw something at his massive blockhead to knock him out, but he turned back to Hermione instead. 

"Are you okay?" He asked her softly. 

Hermione had noticed the way Draco was looking at her. Whether it was the liquor coursing through her or how hot his heated gaze made her feel, Hermione felt her excitement run all over her body, making her skin tingle and mind buzz with anticipation. 

"Yeah, thank you for standing up for me," she responded with a small smile, clasping her hands nervously together. After standing there for what seemed like an eternity, she decided to take a seat next to him, slightly pulling her stool closer to him. She threw small glances his way, then quickly turned away when she met his eyes. She turned her attention over to Emily only to find her with a huge toothy grin plastered on her face. 

Hermione scowled at her as she threw daggers at her. _This is your fault!_ She hoped that Emily was getting the message loud and clear. Apparently, she wasn’t because her smile got even bigger. She was definitely enjoying this chaos she helped cook up. 

“Well, I ordered a few appetizers for us. I hope you guys are hungry,” Cody said as he rubbed his stomach. That seemed to have broken the whatever tension there was between Draco and Hermione, having them fall into a light conversation with the other two. 

While the group waited for their food to arrive, they conversed about their jobs. Hermione couldn’t help but be aware of Draco’s presence next to her. She looked over at him as she slowly sipped on her drink, trying not to make this drink disappear since she felt her drunken state getting worse. It wasn’t working since she ended up drinking the whole thing in five swigs. She placed her drink down when she noticed how soft Draco’s skin looked. 

‘I want to touch it…’ she thought as she felt herself reaching over to him.

Draco was in the middle of a heated discussion with Cody about a business deal they were currently working on when he felt soft fingers graze his cheek. He quickly turned his attention to the source, finding Hermione at the other end of those fingers. Her fingers traced down the hard line of his jawbone, drawing down to his chin, and her eyes were transfixed on her actions. The way her touch felt against him sent shivers down his spine. He felt her thumb go to his bottom lip, running it across its velvety texture. Draco slightly lowered his eyelids, entranced by her touch. 

‘Granger is playing a dangerous game now… I better teach her a lesson on respecting other’s personal space,’ Draco inwardly grinned.

Opening his mouth slowly, Draco gently captured Hermione’s thumb between his teeth. While biting down slightly to hold it in place, he glided and swirled his tongue across the tip of her thumb. The taste of her inside his mouth made him want to groan out loud but he held it in, staring at her sensually instead to witness her reaction. 

Hermione had no idea what came over her. One moment she was staring at Draco’s perfect facial structure and the next, her thumb was caught between delicious-looking lips with a tongue that was doing the most sensational things to it that made her toes curl. Her eyes came up to meet Draco’s silver gaze, making her heartbeat quicken and her essence to moan: _The Snake Prince of the Night is upon me! Take me, my sweet prince!_

Hermione’s voice of reason went into overdrive, screaming at her to pull her hand away, to hit him across the head, cast a hurling hex or something at him- anything to stop him from melting her deepest womanly core. She pulled at her thumb, trying to pry it from his pearly teeth, but he bit down a little harder. The sensation caused another electric jolt to run through her spine. 

It seems, apparently to her, that she has an erogenous zone in her thumb now.  
‘Well, I’m going to add _that_ bit of information to my list,’ she thought as she leaned closer to him, feeling like she was being pulled by his presence. 

Draco reached to grab her hand and withdrew it from his mouth, dragging his tongue one last time across her thumb before bringing it down to his lap. She turned towards him as he breathed in the intoxicating aroma of lavender and her scent mending together. His senses were spinning with pleasure from the mixture of the whiskey and the site of her.

“Hey, guys! I know you are hungry and all, but don’t eat each other just yet! The food’s here!” Cody’s loud voice boomed all of sudden, once again breaking whatever spell was cast upon them. 

“Cody! What the hell?! Why did you interrupt?! Just when it was getting good, too!” Emily moaned in exasperation. 

Draco growled in frustration, and he turned to Cody. He was about to tell him that he was the most infuriating man in the world, but instead, he changed his mind and turned to Hermione. 

Hermione, startled by the whole interaction, could only stare at Draco in confusion.

“Do you want to get out of here, _Hermione_?” Draco purred her name, causing her to melt into her seat.

‘Do not do it! You are going to regret it the next coming morning! You aren’t even wearing that blue… no wait… GREEN!- You are not wearing the green lacey underwear you wanted to seduce him with!’

While Hermione’s inner monologue was having its own soap opera show, her mouth chose to decide for her. 

“As long as you treat me right the first time, I would go with you anywhere, _Mr. Draco_ ,” Hermione quoted one of the lines of her last book, and Draco couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Emily, Cody. It was a pleasure, but if you don’t mind, we are going to leave you guys planted here so I can whisk her away,” Draco got up, pulling Hermione to her feet. She swayed a little as she stood, and Draco placed a hand on her back to steady her. 

‘Ugh, I want those rugged hands on my bare skin _now_!’ Hermione groaned to herself. 

Emily’s facial expression got serious for a moment, throwing Draco a cold, hard stare.

” You better be good to her, Draco. If anything happens to her, I will personally have your head,” she pointed at him. “My big man will come after you, I can promise you that.”

‘ _Now_ she cares?’ Hermione inwardly scoffed, ‘She is quick to feed me to the wolves in the beginning but the moment that it gets hot, then she cares. Psssh!’

Hermione dismissed Emily with her hand, “Girl, _please_ , we are going to be fine. If anyone needs protection, it is this pompous prat next to me.”

Draco, trying to feel offended about being called a prat, couldn’t help himself but laugh. He was not used to seeing this side from the usual put together Hermione Granger and he wanted to milk every second of it.

“What’s so funny?” Hermione pouted at him, “Don’t think that you can beat me. Don’t cha remember that nice backhand I gave ya’ face back in Third year?” She prodded Draco’s cheek, egging him on.

Regardless of how tipsy Draco was, he knew what Hermione just said would automatically blow their cover.

“ _All right_! That is enough of _that_ crazy talk, little lady. Don’t worry, Emily, I will have her home before her carriage turns back into a pumpkin.” Draco grabbed her wool sweater and placed it on her shoulders, thankful, and slightly disappointed that they were no longer distracting him. 

“Say goodnight, Hermione,” Draco wrapped one of his arms around her waist to help guide her to the door. 

“Goodnight, Hermione!” Hermione called out as she waved a hand towards the other couple. Draco only shook his head at her ridiculousness. 

\-----------------

Emily waved at their retreating form, slightly concerned if Hermione was going to be okay.

“Sweetie, do you think it was a good idea to let them go by themselves, especially in their condition?” Emily asked as she turned to her fiance, who was wolfing down the wings they had ordered. She looked at him in frustration and slapped his arm. “You have absolutely no tact whatsoever! Aren’t you even a little bit worried about them?”

Cody licked his fingers and took a large swig of his drink to wash down his meal before he answered.

“Sweetie, listen. A- we already send them on their way, and B- you _know_ how much of a gentleman Draco gets after he has had a few drinks. It’s like watching a rabid dog turn into a tamed show puppy. I still don’t know how he does it, to tell you the truth, but the idea of him doing something about his attraction is laughable within itself.” He grabbed another wing but suddenly stopped when something that Hermione said crossed his mind.

“Wait… Did Hermione say she backhanded Draco back in Third year? What exactly do you think that means?”

Emily placed a finger against her chin, “Actually, now that you mention it, it did sound like she was familiar with him the way she was talking about him in the loo.”

“Do you think they know each other?” Cody suggested as he took a bite of the chicken wing.

Emily stared blankly at Cody for a moment, registering what he just said. Then her eyes widen in realization and she slammed her hand against the tabletop.

“Son of a bitch, they _do_ know each other!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What color would your lacey bra be?


	6. I Will Take I Might Need a New Face, for $200

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment is right! The setting is perfect! They couldn't have asked for more to come together! Okay... maybe a helmet would have helped a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right. Okay. All right. First, I would like to apologize to all of my readers for this long update. I could sit here and come up with a tirade of excuses of why it has taken me months to update, but to tell you the truth, it was laziness and lack of inspiration. BUT! I am back! And with double overtime! 
> 
> To my readers, I present to you the long-awaited Chapter 6!
> 
> This is for my two best friends that never gave up on me. I have my own Emily in real life and if there is anyone to thank for this update, it's her. Her and her nagging of Chapter 6. I couldn't have done it without her. 
> 
> I really do hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and again, I truly do apologize. I refuse to be those authors that never finish their stories. It has already happened before. NOT THIS TIME! I will keep to my word. Need to get started with Chapter 7 while my inspiration high is still intact. 
> 
> All right, done with my speech, on with the show! <3 <3 <3

"It's too crowded…" Hermione complained. 

Draco stared down at her as she leaned further into his side while the people around them were gathering to either go home or go enjoy the festivities somewhere else. Hermione slightly stumbled to the side, being pushed by a man who stepped in their way. Draco quickly wrapped his left arm around Hermione's waist and grabbed her hand with his right, practically dragging her through the crowd. 

As they made their way out of the pub, the cold night air hit both of them, clearing some of the haze that swirled around their heads. Draco continued to drag her around the corner, pulling her away from the noise of the crowd. Getting frustrated, Hermione tried to release herself from his grasp. 

"Malfoy, stop manhandling me! I am not a child!" Hermione exclaimed as she dug her heels to the ground to get Draco to stop. Draco sighed in exasperation. 

'Even with liquor in her system, this woman is impossible.' Then Draco got an idea.

Suddenly, he turned around and stood in front of Hermione to stare at her, keeping her wrapped in his arms. This startled her, especially when he leaned down to whisper in her ear, the smell of whiskey and his manly scent filled her senses. 

'They need to make a candle out of this smell,' Hermione thought. 

"So, we are back to Malfoy now?" Draco whispered deliciously into her ear, causing shivers to run up Hermione's spine.

Hermione could feel the warmth of Draco's body penetrating through their clothes, providing an escape from the soft crisp wind. 

Draco felt Hermione shiver in his arms and he tightened his arms around her. He placed his nose on her shoulder, finally feeling the soft, creamy skin that was driving him insane all night. He took in her scent, warm and inviting. He lifted his head to stare down at her once more. Her cheeks were rose-tinted, her brown eyes shining under the lights, and her soft lips let out warm puffs of air, creating soft clouds of mist in the cold air, and Draco could not help but think that she was the most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on.

Lost in the moment, their heads drew closer together, feeling their breaths intermingle with each other. Draco could feel the slight graze of their lips touch, and he was about to lay claim to her soft mouth when all of a sudden, someone ran into Hermione from behind, causing her head to jut forward and slam it against the bridge of Draco's nose.

“Son of a bitch!” Hermione yelled out as she felt the sheer force of Draco’s head meeting her own, throwing her hands up to her forehead, and feeling the throbbing pain starting to form.

Draco swung his head down as he stepped away from Hermione, gripping his nose as he groaned in pain. Feeling searing pain traveling through his head, Draco righted himself up, automatically regretting it as his vision spun. He opened one eye to peer at Hermione, seeing her mouth agape as she pointed at him with her free hand. Draco furrowed his eyebrows together as he withdrew his hands and looked down at them. Blood pooled on his palms, and he felt more dripping from his nose. He just stood there, his mind not registering what was happening. 

"Don't just stand there letting it drip like that, Malfoy!" Hermione yelled as she quickly stepped over to him. "Tilt your head back," she tucked her fingers under his chin, pushing it up so his head would be held upwards. She began to rummage through her purse, looking for a tissue or handkerchief to stop the bleeding. Draco was looking up at the sky as he felt his head start to swim again.

‘Wow, the sky looks really pretty tonight,’ a wayward thought crossed Draco’s mind, ‘So does that upside-down building…”

Hermione was still looking through her purse when she heard a thud. She looked up from her hunt to find Draco’s body sprawled on the sidewalk. 

“Draco!” She ran up to him, squatting over him to make sure he was okay. She placed her hands on his chest to gently shake him, but he was knocked out cold. She tried calling out to him again, but there was no response. People started crowding around them, mostly curious but some were showing concern. Hermione started to panic, the alcohol clouding her judgment a bit. Then she heard a welcoming voice.

“Hermione! What happened?!” Emily quickly rushed over and kneeled next to Hermione, hearing her breathing become erratic. 

“Draco- he was near me… and- and-now he is-” 

Emily didn’t understand one single word that was coming out of Hermione. She placed her hands on Hermione’s cheeks, turning her face towards her, and using a calm voice to help settle her down.

“Hermione, you need to calm down.” 

Hermione took a few deep breaths as she stared at Emily, her heart hammering at her chest. The cool air filled her lungs and cleared her head. 

Seeing that Hermione was finally starting to even out her breathing, Emily asked again.

“Okay, what happened?” 

Hermione took in one last breathe and let it out. 

“Draco’s face was near mine,” she decided to ignore Emily’s suggestive gaze and continued, “Then someone pushed against me and my head collided with his nose. He started to bleed but I think the blood loss and the alcohol must have overwhelmed his head because he passed out.” 

As Emily shook her head over the ridiculousness of the story, Hermione sat next to Draco so she could place his head on her lap. She smoothed back his hair, slightly amazed by the soft texture of it. 

‘When he wakes up, I have to ask him what shampoo he uses…‘  
‘I don’t think we should be worrying about that right now,’ Hermione’s reasoning finally scolding her. She shook her head, intensifying her headache. She glanced down at Draco and marveled how he could remain attractive even with drying blood covering his chin and shirt. She was startled when she heard Emily clear her throat, clearly intending to remove her from whatever spell she fell under at that moment. 

‘The Dracoisreallyhandsomerious spell…’ Hermione’s thoughts were a massive swarm of tangents at this point. This is why she avoided drinking.

“What happened here?” Cody walked up to them, a look of confusion and concern on his face. 

“Just another disaster to add to the list of tonight’s events,” Emily chuckled. She was about to ask for help when she heard Draco groan. 

\------------

Draco felt like his head was being munched on by The Monster Book of Monsters, it’s gnawing teeth digging into his brain. Then he felt a soft, warm caress touch his forehead. It started to soothe away the pain in his temples, liking the idea of remaining where he was. He heard someone calling his name, but for the life of him, he couldn’t make out who it was. Draco squeezed his eyes in defiance at the notion of waking up. Then he heard a big booming voice say his name and he instantly snapped his eyes open in surprise. He was met with the large face of Cody just a few centimeters from his own. Draco looked at him with confusion and he was startled when Cody laughed. 

“See?! I told you I could wake him up!” His voice bellowed through Draco’s head, making him groan in agony. 

This was quickly charting itself up as one of the worst nights of his life. Draco attempted to push Cody away, anything to separate himself from the big oaf. Cody took the hint and started to stand. As Draco looked on to the gathered crowd surrounding them and wondered what happened that caused this unusual turn of events, he felt that same caress from before smooth back his hair. He gazed up to meet a pair of soft doe eyes that have been driving him insane all evening. 

‘Okay, maybe not the _worst_ night I have experienced,’ Draco thought as he took in the beauty of Hermione.

Hermione gazed down at him, concern swimming in her caramel, brown pools. 

“Draco? Are you okay?” She asked softly, her warm breath skimming through his cheeks. Draco felt himself slightly shudder at the sound of his name coming from Hermione’s lips. He felt his head on top of something soft, and in what he assumed was her lap, considering her position over him. Feeling once more her soft touch against his head, he closed his eyes to bask in it. 

“I am now,” Draco whispered. Hermione didn’t quite hear him, but he looked content where he was at the moment, so she decided to continue to stroke his hair. As she started to get lost in the moment herself, Cody interrupted them once again in his large, booming voice.

“All right, you accident prone lovebirds. Let’s take both of you to the emergency room.”

Before anyone could protest, Cody grabbed hold of Draco’s hand, and with enough ease as picking up a toy, dragged him up from his spot and tossed him over his shoulder. Draco yelled in surprise at the sudden movement, feeling his head rear back from the sheer force of being picked up like a rag doll. 

“Cody!” Both women scolded at Cody from their spots, Emily smacking him on his back for added effect. 

“You just don’t pick someone up like that who just suffered a concussion! You need to be more careful!” Emily chastised him, placing both of her hands on her hips. 

“You are so cute when you are angry, babe,” Cody booped Emily’s nose, completely ignoring what she was saying. Hermione dusted off her pants and stomped over to Cody. Draco was letting out a barrage of curses to the tall man already, but Hermione wanted to lay him a new one for his lack of consideration. 

“Cody, you could have made the situation worse! Put him down this instant! Being upside like that is not good for his head!” Hermione grabbed hold of Draco’s leg to try to bring him down before he suffered more damage to his head. 

The crowd around them was entertained by the chaotic scene. Two small women yelling at an extremely oversized man for manhandling the man on his shoulder. This was definitely one for the books for the strange things you could see at this pub.

After much scolding and Draco promising death to him, Cody finally listened and place Draco on his feet. Being held upside down for quite a while, caused blood to rush to his head and Draco swayed a bit backward. Hermione rushed to his side, placing an arm around his waist and a hand against his chest to steady him. Draco subconsciously dropped his arm across her shoulders for support, which turned out to be an easy task considering he stood two whole heads taller than her. 

“We need to get you to the emergency room, just in case,” Emily suggested after calming down. Cody nodded in agreement. Draco shook his head and instantly regretted it as pain rushed down his spine. 

“No, I will be fine. I just need to go home and rest,” He said with a groan. Hermione looked up at him in concern. 

‘Maybe I should bring Draco back home with me. I do have a few potions that will instantly help him,’ Hermione thought. Then she quickly got rid of that thought.   
‘There is no way I am ever inviting him over my house!’  
‘Well, that is a different tune than what you were singing earlier,’ That irritating thought crossed her mind again. The image of them almost kissing burned in her memory. Instantly, she felt her cheeks burn and she turned her head slightly towards Draco’s chest to avoid being noticed.

“Why don’t you take Draco home with you so you can look after him, Hermione?” 

Too late. Hermione whipped her head towards Emily, her eyes popping out. Of course, Emily noticed her blush! This woman was evil incarnate itself. She was sporting one of the widest, evilest grins she has ever seen on her. The last time she had that look on her face, Emily convinced Hermione to sign a writing contract that bounded her to Emily like a prison chain ball. 

Before she could even utter a word, Cody, the demon’s henchman, hailed down a cab, had them both seated in the back, with instructions to the driver on their destination. Hermione blinked, only getting to acknowledge Emily as she called out to her that will call Hermione in the morning before the cab driver took off to her house. 

\-------------

‘Great,’ Hermione sighed in exasperation. ‘Well, at least this way I could get those potions for Draco and then send him on his way.’   
‘Sure, keep lying to yourself that you don’t want him to spend the night.’  
Hermione bit her inner cheek as a way to shut the thoughts off of her head. She felt Draco move at her side, causing her to squeak. After making sure he was okay with sitting upright by himself, she scooted a little to the side to put some distance between them. If Draco noticed, he didn’t mention anything of it. They were both happy sitting in silence for once, letting their minds fall at ease after the day’s events. 

Hermione felt the after-effects of the drinks still slightly fogging up her brain. She peered at the street, noticing that they would be approaching her place soon. Her heart rate suddenly picked up speed, feeling it hammer against her chest in anticipation.

‘Would he even bother coming inside? Or will he insist on calling it a night and head home by himself? Would he even want to continue what we started earlier?’ That last thought caused Hermione’s cheeks to warm up.

She silently glanced over at Draco, seeing him resting his head against the seat with his eyes closed. Her eyebrows drew closer together in concern, thinking that his injuries were more concerning than she originally thought. Maybe they should head over to St. Mungo’s Hospital instead, just to be safe. 

“How is your head?” Hermione heard herself softly ask before she could stop herself. Draco didn’t answer right away, but he opened up one of his eyes slightly to peer at her. 

“Let’s just say this is slightly worse than what that bloody chicken did to me in the third year,” Draco smirked. Hermione, confused at first, then remembered Buckbeak and how Draco faked out his injuries to try to get Buckbeak killed. Before she could be filled with anger at the audacity of him even mentioning Buckbeak, her irritation quickly dissipated when she saw his cocky smile and the humor look in his eyes. She smacked his arm instead, causing him to laugh. Hermione remembered the stories she heard of Draco earlier from Cody, how he helped the orphanage by stopping the corporate guys. She wondered what happened to him that caused him to change so much. Hermione always thought he was going to grow up to be a sniveling coward that lived off his family fortune.

“Well… I didn’t.” 

Hermione clasped a hand over her traitorous mouth and quickly looked at Draco when she heard him speak, saying a string of apologies, but he waved his hand to dismiss them as he stared out the passenger window, lost in thought. Hermione decided to keep her mouth shut for the remainder of the car ride. This wasn’t for long though, as the car finally came to a stop in front of her building. Hermione reached for the door handle but hesitated, not knowing whether she should invite Draco up to her flat or send him on his way. She glanced over at him to find his eyes upon her, regarding her with a silent expression that she couldn’t read. Before she could stop herself, her mouth betrayed her once more.

“Do you want to come up for a bit? I believe I have some _medicine_ that could help out your headache, plus I think you should clean up yourself. You kind of look like a murder victim right now,” Hermione mentioned as she worded her sentences carefully since they were still in the presence of a muggle. She saw something shift in Draco’s grey eyes at the question but it quickly went away. He stared at her silently, as if he was studying her under a microscope. 

Hermione started to fidget a bit under his steel gaze, but she refused to back down by looking away. Finally, with a sigh, Draco answered as he broke away from their staring contest and looked down at his shirt. 

“Might as well, could definitely go for another drink, to tell you the truth. The evil spawns we call our friends are truly exhausting,” Draco sighed as he opened his door and paid the cab fare. Hermione let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding, feeling her hands get clammy when she pushed open the passenger door. The effects of the alcohol were starting to wear off, but she still felt her skin flush and prickle from the effect that Draco was having on her.

As she closed the door, she saw Draco already at the door of the building, and her brain halted from all thought for a second. As the cab drove away, she felt the chill air awaken her senses to how quiet the street was. With only the slight noise from a few cars coming from the distance and a dog barking, Draco and Hermione were officially alone. And even worse, she just invited the handsome Slytherin prince to not only enter her flat but to peer into her world. She hasn’t brought anyone here since Ron and she ended their relationship.   
Draco turned around to gaze at her once again, probably wondering what was taking her so long. 

‘Of course, he doesn’t look bothered by the whole situation,’ Hermione thought, ‘I bet he is used to this, coming to women’s homes, invading their privacy, adding his atrocious, handsome stench everywhere.’ Hermione’s irritation started to return as she looked at Draco’s calm demeanor. 

“You coming, Granger?” 

‘Oh! And we are back to last names now! Just wonderful! I bet he is only going to go up for the potion and then leave! Well, that is _fine with me!_.’ Hermione was having a mental fight in her head as she reached for her keys. 

“Sure!” She flashed him a forged smile. 

‘He wants to act as if nothing has happened, then I can be just as calm and collected as he is!’ She couldn’t wait to shove the potion down his condescending throat and send him on his way. 

As she stood in front of the door to unlock it, Draco placed his hand lightly on her lower back to guide her in. Hermione slightly froze at the touch but tried not to make it noticeable.

‘Remember, calm, and collected. Calm and collected. Calm. Collected.’ It became a chant in her head as she took the two flights of stairs that led to her flat. With the silence surrounding them, Hermione could feel Draco’s presence behind her, like a predator stalking his prey before he pounced for the kill. As she approached her door, her heart rate began to speed up again.

‘CALM! COLLECTED! CALM! COLLECTED!’ Hermione yelled her chant at herself as she opened her door and turned on the light switch to illuminate the hallway. She heard Draco walk in behind her, his footsteps thumping against the wooden floors, and shut the door.   
The door sounded like a gate shutting in Hermione’s ears, trapping her in with the predator snake that could strike at any time. She turned around to let him know to take off his shoes when she looked up to meet his gaze. What she saw caused her breath to catch at her throat and sweat to roll down the nape of her neck, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the predatory look he was giving her. 

‘Shit! I’m in trouble,’ was Hermione’s last thought before Draco reached for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooo what will happen in Chapter 7, I wonder.... No, really, what?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment and a kudo! Kudos help me buy pants.


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